Did you know, that if you buy a pie from a large company, you may get more than you paid for? Say, if you were to buy a cherry pie, you know what might come of it?

That’s right, you might become the proud owner of your very own cherry pit! Supplies are limited. Operators are standing by. Don’t delay!

Ahem.

The pie itself was soft, flaky, and squishy. Which made that the change in texture all the more, err, pronounced.

However, it could have been much worse.

Ways that it could have been much worse

• The pie could have cost me more than four bucks. (Shop at a discount grocery store? Get secondhand pie. Which, let us be fair, is still pie. Still a win.)
• At no point was I tasked with risking life and limb, challenged with hunting down a wild cherry in its natural environment.
• No food poisoning. Yet. I do not think? It has only been a day. There is still time.
• I did not have to cook anything myself. Only if presenting said item at a potluck would I have claimed that cutting four slits in the crust and putting it in the oven counted as “cooking it.”
• The cat did not leap up, try to steal my food, and end up knocking the plate out of my hand, sending the pie’s contents all over the carpet. It is, however, a highly likely scenario, and I still have two slices left.
• I still have two slices left. More opportunities for oral adventure. Uh, no. That does not sound PG-rated. “More opportunities for the world to surprise me in new ways.” Yeah. Sure. That will do.
• No Thanksgiving, turkey-leg, bone wedged in throat trauma. I will take a pit over a limb anyday.

The lesson here? Besides being wary of bargain baked treats?

Be watchful in this crazy world. Or you might get your just desserts.