Bumbling Through Dating Life

I have spent the last hour swiping through Bumble. Time to take a little break.

I have been single for a bit. My coworker talked about how it was nice that the Bumble application has females reach out first. (Understandable, since there is a three-to-one ratio of men to women on the site.)

I have done my fair share of online perusing. Match. eHarmony. Yahoo. Tinder.

Not Tinder. Never Tinder. No. Tinder sounds like the dating version of Craigslist. NO.

Ahem. I have tried the sites to no real success. Which is fine. I excel at being single. I can have piles of laundry, or I can not. I can vacuum cat hair, or I can leave it on the carpet. Lots of reading time, or lots of listening to her time. Both are valid.

But a guy has to try, darn it.

I found three non-crazy photos of myself. Tried to describe myself. And then the swiping began.

Without paying, you do not get to create filters. And I know some things will not match up. If you live in Singapore, that is too far. If you have eleven kids, we are not a match. There are things that do not make you a bad person, but will not match up with me.

So I swiped. And swiped. And swiped. Here is what I found:

  • “No bikini photos are allowed on Bumble.” Uh huh. Sure. Just that one. And this one. Oh, there are those…
  • These gals are dog people. So. Many. Dogs.
  • And sports hats. Let us not forget the stadium shot with requisite hat adorning their head.
  • Quick photoshop. Scribble over that person’s face. Crop the other people out so you have two, not-matching, arms dangling over you. Or just put a blob of color over their faces.
  • Paris. These gals love Paris.
  • And beaches. Oh, hi again swimsuit pics that “do not exist on our site.”
  • And mountains. If you are on a dating application in Washington? You must ski or hike. Period.

It is promising. December 11th is the most popular day to break up. Really. (Also, you are supposed to break up on a Thursday?) So, now that it is February, they have had enough time to heal, catch their breath, decide what they want, and try again. And, with Valentine’s Day on the calendar, but not quite here yet, others might be thinking of romance as well.

Thus, the search continues. I keep looking to see what is out there. I know what definitely will not work when I see it. However, that still leaves plenty of possibilities out there.

Even if this whole love thing falls apart? Hey, I have no alimony and no engagement gifts to return. I think I might make it.

About Cosand

He's a simple enough fellow. He likes movies, comics, radio shows from the 40's, and books. He likes to write and wishes his cat wouldn't shed on his laptop.
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