Valentine’s Day is less than a month away. (That rhymes, so it must be true.) The movie folks are well aware of this, as evidenced by the upcoming flicks. Care to take a looksee?

“Somebody I Used to Know” Rated R, coming to Amazon Prime on February 10th.

Okay, this is creepy romance #1. I get the whole, “wanting to be with your ex” concept. We have all seen, My Best Friend’s Wedding, right? I get it, I do. But, come now. Be happy that they found someone even if it is not you. Sigh.

Somebody takes it further. They appear to have the gal cheating with her ex, then cheating with her ex’s fiancée. If we apply the transitive theory, then it all works out. And some people are okay with open marriages. But please. She is guilty of all the cheating, and so are they. As much as I like two Community folks in the same way, this is a definite “nope”.

“Maybe I Do” Rated PG-13, coming to theaters on January 27th.

Guy is engaged to gal. Gal and guy are having doubts. Okay, fine. Guy’s parents are having doubts. Gal’s parents are having doubts. But not about their child’s relationship; their own. (Lost yet?) Guy’s dad appears to be sleeping with gal’s mom. Gal’s dad appears to be sleeping with guy’s mom.

The fact that (menopause not withstanding), if one of them gets pregnant, the family tree would be… um, a shrub? A grapevine full of tangled vines? I should not go cross-eyed thinking about how a kid would relate to six people.

There are some amazing actors in there too! However, I cannot get past the creepiness factor. Blergh.

“Your Place or Mine” Rated PG-13, coming to Netflix on February 10th.

Oh look, more former associates awakening to new feelings about the other.

Look, I am biased. When Harry Met Sally irks me. Mostly because my best friend is quite attractive, nice legs and all, and we do platonic just fine. I have thoughts about how incorrect that film is.

(Also, can we point out that Jaws, Airplane, Howard the Duck, and Big, are all rated PG, but When is rated R? What, because of the dinner scene? Howard has a woman sleeping with a duck. Big has a woman sleeping with a boy. But they all got a PG? Oh, MPAA.)

Where was I… So yes, Renee used to know Ashton. Ashton does not like that Renee is having fun with a different guy. What will he do?!?!

If someone else wanted to watch it, sure. We like Reese Witherspoon. By and large, I would go with “meh” on this one.

“At Midnight” Rated PG-13, coming to Paramount+ on February 10th.

This is the stand-out to me. It is completely and utterly predictable. It is essentially a Hallmark movie. We all know it. Guy and gal seem happy, gal gets cheated on, gal gets to spend time with non-threatening, average guy. Notting Hill. She’s Out of My League. The ground has been covered. However, it still seems so darn cute. Adorable.

We all know that Monica Barbaro is beautiful. See that static image of her wearing a coat? That is it. For most of the 2:30 trailer, she goes around with much less clothing than her male counterpart. As if Paramount said, “Okay, you were in full Navy attire for Top Gun: Maverick. There was the beach scene, but who’re we kidding? Flaunt it!” And they do.

We just wanna see the attractive people make an attractive couple and spend their happy lives on an attractive beach. Formulaic. Perhaps even manipulative. I am okay with that.

“Shotgun Wedding” Rated R, coming to Amazon Prime on January 27th.

This might just be the one that wins me over. I can do without an R-rating. Darnit, though. This just looks like fun. Lost City did not win me over because the gore was too much. This could have the same problem. If I was okay with bloody corpses in a romantic comedy, then I would have no regrets.

Arrrgh. The jokes are paced so well. Pitch Perfect is one of my favorites. The action meshing with the comedy. There is a reason I posted both trailers. There is much here to love. So much.

“Alice, Darling” Rated R, coming to theaters January 20th.

“Uh, you sure you got the right clip there? They describe it as a thriller, not a rom-com.”

For one thing, I am an Anna Kendrick fan. (Hence the Pitch Perfect love from the last clip.) At the same time, the movie focuses on a topic that I think is under-discussed.

What if you have low self-esteem? What if you need constant reassurance that you are worthy of love? What if the person that showers you with compliments is not worthy of being with you?

I think there are people in the world that are convinced that, as the song claims, they are “nobody ’til somebody loves you.” That if they do not have a date for Valentine’s, that they are doing something wrong. That they are flawed. And I think some people put up with crap that they should not. Especially when they have friends that would never subject them to abuse.

The only concern here is how it ends. There is a hint that it might get a little murder-y towards the end. If the only way to end a bad relationship is murder in the woods? Then we are in a whole other kind of trouble. Can Alice break up with the jerk without having a body to dispose of?

I sure hope so. You are supposed to give your heart on Valentine’s Day, not have it chopped out of you with an axe.

And hey, there are other movies to watch…