I once wrote about the puns that my favorite delivery driver and I engaged in.  Then I told you of a veterinary visit. Now, since absolutely nobody asked for more, I decided to get ahead of the crowd.  I’m a giver.

“Did you hear what happened when a tanker full of blue paint collided with a tanker full of red paint?  Everybody was marooned.”

“What is another name for a Last Will and Testament?  C’mon, it’s a dead giveaway!“

“Boy, they were really rude at that shoe store.  They gave me the boot.“

“Y’know why boy bands don’t like dishwashers?  ‘Cause they’re not NSYNC.“

“What do The Eiffel Tower and The Louvre, and tapeworms have in common?  They’re Paris-sights.“

“What do you call an internet network from Australia?  The LAN down under.“

“You know why you can’t trust young birds to drive a car?  They always fly the coupe.“

“Why can’t you trust electricians?  They charge too much.”

“That date with the stenographer didn’t go so well.  Turns out I’m not her type.“

“That scientist sure was rude to me.  He was rather vial.“

“Know why the door-to-door salesman was so mad at the judge?  She threw out his case.“

“I finally threw away my antique pencils.  It was time to get the lead out.“

“I was supposed to have a dental appointment today.  But they gave me the brush off.”

“Did ya hear about that terrible plane movie that they didn’t advertise?  Turns out it was a stealth bomber.”

“My waiter last night was pretty slow.  He just couldn’t dish it out.”

“I figured out why bakers and cats don’t get along.  They’re both too kneady.”

“I’m too busy to cook with herbs.  I don’t have the thyme.”

“What’d the kid say when he came to the broken playground?  ‘Aw, chute.’”

“Wow.  Those trees sure are plentiful.  They must be seed-ars.”

“You avoid walks in the rain?  You don’t know what you’ve mist.”

Okay. I think twenty is enough. I shall make like a baby and head out.