Yesterday was all serious, contemplative, and deep. Today? None of that.
“Hey, those pants are supposed to be at my place!”
“I know those pants. I know them very well.”
“Don’t you love the way those pants are snug around your butt, yet let your lower body feel free?”
“Don’t you just hate cheap zippers?”
“Uh, those pants are supposed to be on my bedroom floor.”
“I was just in those pants yesterday.”
“I like how you look in my pants.”
“Man, our pants really put up with some extreme workouts, huh?”
“But I thought as the male I was the one that was supposed to wear the pants around here.”
“Could you remove yourself from my clothes, please?”
“You could really work up a sweat in those pants, am I right?”
“Doesn’t it irritate you how the zippers press into your hips?”
“With those pants, I could run after you all day.”
“You don’t suppose we wear the same size, do you? Nah, your pair would be too loose and baggy on me.”
“Aren’t you glad I washed those pants for you this weekend?”
“Take off my pants!”
No doubt about it. There is no way to tell a customer that she is wearing the same style and brand of workout pants that you use for jogging. Not without getting stared at, slapped, or sued.
This is why I keep my mouth shut at work.