Square Dancing Giving Away a Car (Week Nineteen)
I had it all planned out. I was going to have my new thing for Saturday be square dancing. A church that is affiliated with mine was hosting a potluck/ square dance gathering. I knew where the church was. I did not find anybody to tag along, but eh. Half of the point is to awkwardly meet other people out of desperation for a dance partner, right? “Hey, I don’t know you, but both of us need a partner. Let’s dosey-doe!”
However, sometimes things go horribly awry. Sometimes you get a reminder that you volunteered to usher a show Saturday night. A sold out show. And you are the only usher. Thus endeth any plans to go dance.
Happily, I did something earlier in the week that counts as something new. I gave away a car.
Now, do not go thinking that I am some great philanthropist. It was a ’97 Dodge Neon. No Tesslas, no BMWs, no Hummers. (That last part should be a global creed. “No Hummers. Ever.”)
Due to circumstances outside of my control, I no longer need that car. This is the first time I have ever parted ways with a car while it still worked. My ’86 Chevy Nova? Why, I wrecked that when I was 18 and feel asleep behind the wheel. Oops. So yeah, that one got totaled. My ’95 Prizm? I was driving down the left most-lane of a four-lane one-way road. A car two lanes over decided to make a left turn, in front of me, downhill, in the rain. Here, I’ll draw you a picture.
You don’t have to tell me, I know. I really captured the essence of the moment. Regardless, car totaled.
But my car didn’t get totaled in the last 12 years. It survived! It ran well! Victory!
I was all set to donate it to some car donation thing. There are places that will take your car, fix it up, and give the benefits to the charity of your choice. Reminder though: ’97. Dodge Neon. Last millennia. Clinton was in office when this car was made. When AOL was king of the internet. You can’t use this car for Uber. There is no in-seat Blu-Ray player. It is just a car. Whatever financial gain received would be rather pithy as car sales go.
So, just to be on the safe side, I offered it up to friends online.
Man. If you ever want attention online, offer a free car. Sheesh.
Car for me! Car for my nanny! Car for college! Car for non-profit! Car for my sister!
I offered, they took me up on it. Certainly counted as a new experience, I tell ya that much.
I took the first four people that asked, wrote their names on a big piece of paper, and tore it up into four equally sized pieces. Turned the papers upside down, shuffled them around on a counter top, did not look, and picked a name. That person gets the car. Simple.
Tragically, I will never know what it feels like to drive my Neon with cowboy boots on. Of course, I do not actually own any cowboy boots. Maybe I should have used the car profit to buy some. Ah well. Live and learn.
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