I tend to leave past decades in the past.  ’70’s?  Nope.  ’80’s?  ’90’s?

I maintain that the ’90’s more or less tried to kill me.  They tried a new tactic; “cool” music videos. As proof, allow me to submit:

Five Times ’90’s TV Tried to Kill Me

• #5  The Urkel

I hate to admit it, but I still think “The Urkel” is kind of fun.  I mean, they bend back on their knees and touch the floor with their hands and everything.  Or maybe I am just too fond of Urkel.  He ages like a piece of fine cheese.

• #4  Higher Life

From what I can tell on the internet, the singer of this song actually sang professionally.  So that’s something.  And I do love MacGyver.  And technically this episode, “Two Times Trouble” aired in ’89, not during the ’90’s.  But it still aired during the War on Drugs.  And it still shows Pete and Mac overseeing a music video.  Oy.

• #3  The Goofy Movie

There were several songs in this movie.  It was kind of a musical.  But Anna Kendrick says it ain’t a musical if the characters know they are singing.  (Shrug)  I remember thinking this movie was pretty great as a kid.  But man.  That yellow suit.  …yeah…

• #2  Darkwing Duck‘s music video

I don’t think he ever actually named his music video.  I mean, it pretty much snag all about him.  (Even the chorus told us his name over and over, -and- when they could watch it.  Oh Disney.)

• #1  Sugar Sugar, re-mixed

Ugh.  I had never known that “Return to Riverdale” was ever made until the current writer of Jughead informed me.  Now, the original “Sugar Sugar” from ’69 is pretty dang messed up.  Reggie becomes a frog?  Archie a bunny?  What?  But then it gets worse.  Jughead as an adult.  A balding adult.  Teasing his son (?!?!?) about being a late bloomer.  And then they rap together.  And people enjoy it.  Blergh.  Jughead never needed fixing, and he certainly didn’t need this.  Whatever this was.  Yikes.  Just… yikes.

If I’m missing any truly terrible ’90’s T.V. music moments, please let me know.  I’d love (hate?) to be exposed to these sad messes.

Update 6/2

Thanks to Screen Junkies, I just found out about TMNT’s musicals.  It’s truly terrible.  Thanks heroes in a half-shell.